Several years ago, I came to the realization that I had developed two different personas in my early professional career.  I realized this one day on the drive home from work when leaving someone a voice mail that I said “Ramona” rather than the familiar “Mona” nickname that I used with family and friends.  I hadn’t quite shut off work yet and was still in that mode when I made the call.  Within the hour, I had eased into the world of “Mona.”  Don’t get me wrong, there are no “Sybil” like differences between Ramona and Mona,  yet there were subtle differences that I believe affected my ability to be more successful at work.

I have a strong personality,I’m driven and passionate and as I’ve stated before, I have an opinion on just about anything.  I have high expectations of myself and others, which can lead to disappointment or great success.  This permeates both my work and personal life, so there are very few differences in this area.  The key difference, is that at work, I didn’t allow people to know “Mona.”  They knew Ramona, in a formal business setting and didn’t understand who I was as a person.  After I would move on to another position, the employees would invite me out to happy hour or other events and they were so surprised to see that I wasn’t this serious, “all business” person that they saw at work.  They saw a different person, and were pleasantly surprised.  However, it was too late to make amends with them professionally, as I had already left the organization.  They didn’t know me, and it was all my fault.  I put up walls and barriers, albeit unintentionally, and I lost the opportunity to develop a rapport with my work colleagues.

I’ll venture away from my personal story to help you understand my purpose of this blog post.  Most folks know that careers are about relationship building.  You have to show people who you are as a person (if that person is desirable at work, of course).  I thought it was ok to let people “in” in my personal life, but I didn’t really think that was important in my work life.  I have since changed my view as age and experience brings new wisdom.  It has also helped in my pursuit to be one happy person, both professionally and personally.  If you find yourself in a situation where you can’t be who you are in both environments, perhaps its time to pursue another job or career where you can develop your dual work/life personas into one.  It is harder in HR, where you are expected not to “mingle” with employees as you may one day have their professional fate in your hands, but many can find a careful balance and cultivate rich working relationships that will propel you to greater successes.  My goal is to manage and develop that balance.  I’m a Libra, it should come natural, right?