Since I’ve encountered so many random indescribable things that have occurred in the wake of the holiday season, I thought I’d give a short list of things that are definitely not acceptable, but if you don’t really need your job…go for it!

1.  Walking around with mistletoe and offering it to your opposite-sex colleagues.  This is a great idea if you want to get smacked or kicked in the nards..or slapped with a sexual harassment charge.

2.  Dressing up like the baby Jesus in the office.  Creative, yes, but I can’t imagine a way this can be executed without ill effects on your career prospects.  You can’t claim religious discrimination when you get canned for wearing a diaper to work and ..well..using said diaper for its intended purposes.  This also applies to lining your office floor with hay to simulate the nativity scene.  It’s a mess to clean up and you might get “presents” left for you from the cleaning staff.

3. Dirty dancing with your subordinates, colleagues, and/or boss at the office/company holiday party.  The office extends to outside functions as well, and this could get very dicey.  Read my lips, do not drink if you can’t control your inhibitions.  Nevermind, just don’t drink around work people.  Save yourself the trouble and reserve your drunken foolishness for your family who unfortunately cannot fire your ass.

4.  Bringing lingerie or some other inappropriate item for the grab bag party.  This almost always makes the recipient and everyone else in the room very uncomfortable.  Perhaps a nice full body covering snuggie or slanket will do?

5.  Giving naughty Christmas cards.  Sure, there are tons of dirty cards at innocent family box stores like Target and Wal-Mart but it doesn’t mean that you should give them to a colleague or subordinate.  Oh, and someecards are out.  This one in particular from Someecards should not be sent to a co-worker or your secret santa person through elfster.  Save those gems for your family who will appreciate your biting wit and your lack of concern for decorum and/or decency.

Got anything to add?  Feel free to add your “donts” in the comments below.