Successful negotiators (and managers) focus on the “it” which represents the crux of the conversation.  They don’t allow people to drift aimlessly from topic to topic without any apparent purpose.   Think of the employee who begins criticizing their own co-workers because they are being called to the carpet due to issues with attendance and punctuality.  It’s much easier to talk about Suzie’s attitude or James’ habitual lateness than focusing on one’s own issues.   Accountability sucks.  I get it.  Really, I do.

I find that as an HR professional, we often are unable to apply some of our own knowledge and skills to our own actions and behaviors either professionally or personally.  We counsel and advise managers to tread territory that we hope to never face in our own professional careers.  Honestly, its easier to tell someone how to handle an employee issue if you don’t have to communicate the message directly.  The manager is the medium, and we are often simply the coach helping the team to victory.  I on the other hand, not only apply my skills and expertise in my work life, it also seems to permeate my personal life.  The good news is that at least I don’t suffer from a dual workplace/home persona (which I’ll blog about later).  The bad news, is that I should probably draw the line somewhere.  I don’t think that commission hungry furniture salesmen who sell furniture at 400% markup is the place to start though, so I’ll have to rethink my approach in other circumstances that do not involve a financial impact.  So what is the “it” of this post?  Well, to sum it up, negotiations skills are highly valuable in many settings.  The Land of Bullshit is a crazy place that we go all to often.  And we should always strive to get to the “it” in our personal and professional lives but we should carefully consider our approach given the circumstances.